Interesting observation

I noticed this weekend that being home, or perhaps coming home, created frustration and brought my mood down. It surprised me! but at the same time, I understood it.

There are unresolved issues here and I am not in control as to how to resolve them. Some stuff is dependent upon factors outside the realm of anyone here, even, and so I play a waiting game. Other stuff is dependent upon people inside the house, and so I play a waiting game.

Waiting, aka "patience," is NOT my strong suit. Strong opinions, however, are perfectly familiar to me. Speaking those opinions, though, is not always welcomed... and then there are directives to speak up when I'd prefer to be quiet. Ay ay ay! So it's no wonder that I'm feeling conflicted and impatient, stressed and frustrated, anxioius for resolution to multiple things on our plates atm.

At two points during the weekend, I noticed that my mood (eventually, and once with wine lol) elevated when I got out of the house and had activities to distract me- and subsequently that returning home almost immediately triggered my bad mood to return. Luckily, just noticing that helped keep my mood from dropping too far.

I feel as though, in some respects, life is on hold and I'm at others' mercy as to when it'll get to start back up again. And on the other hand, I can't believe life and time are flying past, we're already in March and spring, and summer/June are just around the corner.

It's interesting how the mind can encapsulate so many varied thoughts and emotions, seemingly at the same time.